I'm a fan of books. All books. Good books, bad books, long books, short books, books with pictures, books with big words. I'm of the belief that any type of communicative medium we expose our minds to is an opportunity to consider what we think about it and evaluate how it fits into our view of the world. This analysis gives you not only a better idea of how your own brain works, but also insight into how others' brains work and how all those brains work together in this thing we call "society." Teaching people how to analyze what they encounter is, in my belief, the most important tool we can impart because it allows the learner to become truly independent and, hopefully, self-evolved.
So, to get down to the point of this post, I must first confess that I recently read the Twilight series. Now, this isn't anything too outside my realm of interests. I'm an avid reader and have rather enjoyed several young adult books, including The Hunger Games, a few of the Harry Potters, and several books written by AVI, Lois Lowery, and David Levithan. So my beef with Twilight has nothing to do with its intended audience. I also don't mind vampires, werewolves, and the like. I'm also not hating on it because it has a massive following of die hard fans.
My problem with Twilight is the message it sends to readers, particularly young female readers, about relationships. After all the media hype about "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob", the entire time I was reading the series I was asking myself, "What about Team Bella?" Why isn't her own life a third, and possibly better, option then living with a werewolf or becoming a vampire? I'm well aware that the book is suppose to convey a message about fate and love and the idea that no matter what you are meant to be with one person forever and ever and ever. Fine, that's a literary device that has been used for centuries. But, in my opinion, such a device is cheap and easy and goes way too far in justifying how Bella is treated by the boys vying for her attention.
No matter how many times Edward tells Bella that he loves her, these words do not make up for the fact that he is an abusive partner. Bella and Edward are in an abusive relationship. Consider this: he keeps her from her other friends, he abandons her, he's mean to her other friends, he stalks her, he marries her at a ridiculously young age against her wishes, he won't let her out of his sight, and, in the throes of his alleged love for her, he physically harms her, repeatedly. This series is not only telling young readers that such relationships are okay, but that they are actually the best thing ever and worth losing everything for. And, to top it off, Bella's own self-esteem dwindles as the books go on. And what does Bella get out of this relationship and lack of self-esteem? She gets to be the hero.
As I indicated in the beginning of this post, I'm a fan of books. I will always support books and avid readers. But, I also think its important to not take all books at face value. To that end, if you are a parent of a child who has read Twilight, I'm imploring you to sit down with your child and discuss the themes in the book. Talk about Bella and Edward's relationship. Talk about what your child expects from a relationship. Talk about if what happens in the books is a good thing or a bad thing. And use this opportunity to tell your child what you think a healthy relationship looks like, feels like, acts like.
We have to stop telling girls that the biggest choice in their life is choosing between Boy A and Boy B. Sometimes a girl needs to choose the Girl.
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